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Bev's
Balance of Self Theory
The
term “Balance of Self,” what does it mean? Let us take a
minute to think about it. According to our dear friend Webster,
balance is defined as 1. A weighing device having a lever with two
pans suspended from it. 2. Equilibrium. 3. Equality of or
difference between totals in the debit and credit sides of an
account. 4.Harmony; symmetry. Balance as it relates to us as
women would bring a sense of equilibrium and harmony into our
lives.
What
is "self?" Self is all aspects of your identity that make you
who and what you are. You are Body… yet more than that. You are
Mind…yet more than that. You are also Spirit and more than that
as well. God has created you as a whole complete entity with parts
that come together into a dynamic being, that is infinitely more
than all those parts would seem to equal alone or combined. This
is the miracle of being. This is who you are Woman! You are a
miracle —a Queen-Diva! As wonderful as that may all sound at
first glance it requires something of you, to realize the full
potential of who and what you are. You must achieve balance in all
aspects of yourself in order to function optimally in this world.
Lets
face it! We are in the beginning stages of “this life” —in
the sense that we have not yet mastered what we need to, to become
enlightened. We need to learn strategies to identify our life
mission, and learn how to accomplish such a mission. Though you
may think that you “know” who you are and what you want out of
life, — I say, you do not. You may not agree with me now, but
after reading this book, you will.
My
Balance of Self Theory indicates that special focus is needed in
all areas of your “Balance Pie Chart,” in order to maintain
stability in your life. Our goal is to maintain a level of
equilibrium/balance within our self and our immediate
surroundings, in order to have a happy and fulfilled life. Please
note —though we do not have control over our environment, we can
choose what we accept into our immediate surroundings. Choice is a
wonderful gift that we should cherish. For those of us who view
life in the sense of the glass being half empty, this choice can
have a devastating effect. We have the power to choose, but we
also have the responsibility to learn to choose more wisely.
The
Balance Pie Chart represents you, and everything in it becomes
part of you. You control the ingredients that will go into your
pie. Every ingredient has to be measured correctly or else your
pie will taste disgusting. It may flop, harden, bubble over, smell
bad, explode and then have to be tossed aside —just to begin
again. However, if you put all the right ingredients into your pie
and bake it just right, everyone will desire it,
including
you. Your Balance Pie Chart consists of eight categories. In other
words there are eight pieces in your pie. The names of each piece
of pie are as follows: Family, Love Relationship, Health,
Education, Social Awareness, Career & Money, Spirituality and
Giving Back.
We
have to pay special attention to each piece of our pie at all
times. If we do not, —we will automatically gravitate towards
certain pieces and neglect others. When certain pieces of your pie
are uncared for or is neglected, an imbalance may occur. If this
imbalance occurs, your desire for a “well-balanced-life” will
become unbalanced causing major tiger waves, tornadoes and
earthquakes. Thus, I cannot stress enough… that you follow the
instructions of this book and use just the right ingredients for
your pie.
Becoming a
Social Butterfly
Every
Diva must learn the skill for becoming a social butterfly.
Can you picture, an anti-social Diva, I think not!
Women who have a successful career, family life and a large
number of friends have one thing in common. They definitely know how to
deal with people. The
ability to properly interact with others is one of the most powerful
tools for personal and/or professional success. To be successful social
butterfly, you need to take control of how you interact with others.
You've
taken the first step in freeing yourself or your dependent from a
lifetime of despair and distress caused by social anxiety.
Social Anxiety is a very specific problem which cannot be treated
effectively by programs for generalized panic and anxiety. If you think
you may have a social anxiety disorder, I advise you to seek
professional help. Look in
the yellow pages of your phone book and find a counselor/therapist who
specializes in social anxiety disorders.
Do not be afraid or waste anymore time or prolong the suffering,
get help now!
Failure
I cannot think of anyone who has never experienced failure. I have
failed on many levels... the difference about me is that I am skilled,
like many of you, in picking my face up off the floor and starting over
and accomplishing my goals the next time around. This is what you will
learn from this book... Henry Ford said it best, "failure is the
opportunity to begin again more intelligently"... do you
understand this statement? lets go over it again.. Failure, is the
opportunity to begin again more intelligently.. Bev Knox says "failure
is the opportunity given, sometimes twice, to damn well know, that
you're NOT going there a third time...
Your
Self Image
Your
self image is how you see yourself in relation to others. It could
be physically or it may be more about the idea you have of
yourself which could also be called your self concept. Your self
image or “your look” is very important because studies
indicate that there is a direct correlation between the effects
your self esteem and your level of confidence. Rule #1 - never
compare yourself to anyone else. Never, Never, Never!!! Self image
consists of: What you think you look like physically; how your
personality and attitude is presented; what kind of person you
think you may be; what your wardrobe is saying to people; and how
others interpret your total package…—and you can
trust
this Diva when I say, YOUR TOTAL PACKAGE counts. Let’s face it,
you may be a beauty queen on the
outside…
but if you are a dumb, stuck-up, wanna-beplayette with a nasty
attitude… —others will see you as a dumb, stuck-up,
wanna-be-playette with a nasty attitude that just happened to look
good. Men may see you as a “hit-and-run” playmate, but not
much more than that.
The
connection to self-esteem is that if you have a poor self-image
your self-esteem will be poor. If you have a high self-image, your
self-esteem will be high, thus creating the Diva like quality that
we are trying to create. Remember, self-esteem focuses on how you
feel about yourself. Self image is about how you see yourself.
They are, as you can see, quite close. We will review self-esteem
further in chapter 4. Again your self-image and esteem, has a
direct correlation with how you feel and view yourself, thus
supporting my looking good/feeling good theory.
Looking
Good and Feeling Good
Though
it is said, that it is much better to be beautiful on the inside
than on the outside… I say, WRONG!…
Why
choose?… It is by far, more advantageous to be both. Beautiful
on the Inside and on the Outside. Why
allow
your viewers to be visually scared by your shabby appearance? Why
allow yourself to be emotionally
tormented
by self-doubt or limitation? I promote self enhancement through,
“Balance of Self.”
Studies
indicate that it is not happy people who are intensely
self-focused, but those who are bereaved, depressed or down right
“funky.” Unhappy depressed people tend to be lethargic,
brooding, socially withdrawn, and sometimes hostile. They do not
only make themselves miserable, but also everyone else around
them. Due to presuming that other people are rejecting them or do
not like them, depressed people are not entirely wrong. They are
no joy to be around.
Company
does not love misery, even if misery loves company. I don’t know
about you, but I cannot stand to be around funky people with bad
attitudes. In fact, I take great effort in distancing myself from
such people.
Happy
people are reported to live their lives marked by positive
emotions. They are, by contrast, fabulous creatures, strikingly
energetic, decisive, creative, and are indeed social butterflies.
Compared to unhappy people, they are a lot more trust worthy,
loving, and responsive. Happy people tolerate more frustration.
They are gifted that way. They are less often abusive or
emotionally challenged, and tend to be more loving, and forgiving.
Happy people are goal oriented and are more likely to forego
immediate small pleasures for long-term rewards. Happy people
spend more time looking at the brighter side of any situation.
They look at the glass as being half full. They also prefer more
upbeat
people, stories, movies, and music, and the like. This happy-Diva
loves to be around happy people.
It
is reported that happy people have been more willing to help those
in need. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could make the world a
more happy place? People with healthy, positive emotions create a
more fulfilled, joyful, caring and healthy life for themselves and
others, thus creating a more healthy society. Can you image —a
healthy society filled with well-balanced happy-Divas. I can!
Psychological
studies show that people might alleviate negative emotions not
just by treating disorders, but also by replacing them with
counteracting positive emotions that broaden thinking beyond the
narrowly preoccupied depressed state. Simply put, we have to learn
to replace negative emotions with positive ones.
Looking
good has a definite effect on how you feel. Looking good with the
right attitude —effects your entire appearance! Having a good
attitude with a high level of self-esteem can enhance your entire
appearance! The goal is to look fabulous, change all your negative
thoughts into positive ones and feel great. This my darlings with
God’s guidance, will put you in the right direction in changing
your entire life for the better.
Make
a commitment today to get those negative feelings out of your
life! You will be surprised at how good you feel. Remember, when
you look good, you feel good —at least a hell of a lot better!
More
on Relationships CLICK HERE
Bev is
currently accepting love stories from women to include in her new book. If you would
like to submit your love story please do so by emailing it to bev@bevknox.com.
Stories,
essays, photographs or related materials and any other materials
of any kind whatsoever submitted (hereinafter, the
"Submissions") will not be returned or kept
confidential. All such Submissions may be used: (i) on
www.BevKnox.com (the "Website"); (ii) for broadcast or
other publication by Bev Knox and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm,
Inc. or any of its affiliated companies or entities, including,
but not limited to, In OUR Opinion w/ Paul & Bev, or
related companies or entities, including without limitation. By
submitting the above, you acknowledge and agree to the following
terms and conditions and consent to your name and geographic
location possibly being published in connection with the
publication, distribution and/or broadcast of your Submission(s).
1. The Submissions may be shared with The Producers and/or
developers of In Our Opinion w/ Paul & Bev, Bev Knox
and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc., (or its related entities,
including, without limitation, and related programming.
2. Neither In Our Opinion w/ Paul & Bev, Paul Musco, Bev
Knox and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc. nor any of its
affiliated companies or entities are obligated to use or pay you
for any Submission.
3. All Submissions shall become the property of Bev Knox
and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc., may be edited for length,
clarity and/or functionality, will not be subject to any
obligation of confidentiality, may be shared with and used by the
staff of Bev Knox and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc.,
and any of their affiliated companies or entities and shared with
legal authorities if believes warranted. Neither Bev Knox
and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc., nor any third or other
party with whom Bev Knox and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm,
Inc., shares the Submissions shall be liable for any use or
disclosure of any information or Submission that you submit.
5. Bev Knox and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc., shall
exclusively own all known or later existing rights to the
Submissions worldwide and shall be entitled to the unrestricted
use of the Submissions for any purpose in all media now known or
hereafter discovered without compensation to the provider of such
Submissions.
6. Bev Knox and/or Bev Knox Consulting Firm, Inc., reserves
the right to change due dates for Submissions, or other specifics,
as it deems necessary in its sole and exclusive discretion.
7. By providing the Submissions, you represent and warrant that
you are at least twenty-one (21) years old.
8. No Submission may contain any material that is abusive, vulgar,
threatening, harassing, libelous, defamatory, obscene, invades a
person's privacy, violates any law, any intellectual property or
other property or other rights, or is known to be false.
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